


Let Me Breath

by naturallesbain



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27160759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naturallesbain/pseuds/naturallesbain
Summary: I dont even look in the mirror anymore.This is kinda a part 2 to my Mental Health Of The Gang series but you dont have to read Soda's chapter to know what happens.Sorry I havent written in a while, my dad got surgery on Tuesday.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Let Me Breath

I dont even look in the mirror anymore. 

I get dressed facing away from it, I brush my teeth with my head down, and I only focus on my hair when I do my hair. 

Nobodies noticed my decline. 

Steve just thinks I'm broken up over Sandy and the rest havent noticed. 

I dont blame them for not noticing, though. I put on a smile that's more forced than anything and I plow through the day while I ignore the growing pain in my chest. 

Its not physical, really. Its more of a mental gnawing sensation, similar to not being able to breathe. 

My throat feels tight and my chest aches like a thousand pounds are sitting on it as I try and make sure everything goes okay. 

I make sure Pony's okay since he's been real upset since Windrixville. 

I make sure Dally's eating and staying out of trouble. 

I always ask if Johnny's doing okay, too. I know he's hurt real bad and even though he can walk just fine now, his nerves are damaged and hes almost always in pain. 

I was up talking to him late at night one time and he said that nothing's helped the pain. 

Not morphine, not weed, nothing. 

I try and comfort him the best I can but I know it'll do nothing. 

Im good at that. 

Im good at doing nothing. 

I dropped outta school and I'm happy with my job at a damn gas station. 

That's what I'll be for the rest of my life, nothing. 

I never graduated so I'll never be able to get a good job, despite the recommendations. 

I know I'm a burden, too. 

I see it in the way Darry's shoulders hunch over whenever he walks through the door and see it in the way I gotta pick up stronger and stronger medication for his head aches. 

I can't do much anymore and it feels like im suffocating. 

I pray now, I pray that I'll be able to breathe. 

Let me breathe. 


End file.
